When i see the morning sun,
I think of you and what's been done.
You are the best that I have seen,
And I want to be there for you to lean.
I hold you dear within my heart,
And it's killing me just to be apart.

I know you're good at keeping rhymes,
So do forgive these next few awkward lines.

My Thoughts are scattered everywhere, But there are these words I need to say-
I'll be strong when you are weak,
I'll be your friend when you're most in need.
I look up at the stars and see your face And gaze upon your planet, so ablaze.
I'll listen to those wise words you say
And I'll be there come what may.
I need you in my life so much,
And I was scared of losing you.
I overstepped and I regret,
Cause time was flying and I fret.
Your closeness is like the air I breathe.
I'll fade to nothingness if you leave.
I'll hold your hand through think and thin. And support you through everything.
You inspire me to be a better man,
And take each step with courage and strength.

I'll respect your every wish
And follow whatever you believe.
I promise you, I won't do it again,
So please give me this chance to make amends.

What I promise I do not break,
For it is a grave oath that I make.
If being friends is what you'll give
Then that is what I'll graciously receive.
I treasure our friendship true and true
But I'll leave what happens next, to you.....

Slumbers of antiquity,

ive had a few thoughts im my mind and i think it had become rather overwhelming. this time i can only leave this poem to explain. ive grown speechless to all that i know. and to you, i dedicate this to you.. with my best wishes and love.. you will forever be in my heart...


i am a traveler lost between what is and what was,
at the cross road that bring disarray & confusion.
do i walk east, or do i venture west?
the question hinders me, larger than boulders.

i want, i wish, i yearn.
give me an answer,
give me a sign.
for this answer i seek.
no,i desire.

gone are the instant gratifications
gone are the futile attempts
of failed independence,
gone are selfish wishes that bore no fruit,
be gone.

the mirrors shatter,
the confetti fall.
the mist evanescence,
reality testify.

what now?
i need a compass,
i need a map,
i need the stars.
no.
i need You. and you and you.
i have the strength.
I can do all things through
He who strengthens me.
not merely my believe,
but a promise I claim.

The phantasmagorical party has ended,
the journey of reality has begun.
Awake.
to the philharmonic sounds
of all that i had forgotten.

Questions to answers

what are blogs for? i wondered. the're a form of expression, no matter how its written, from a picture exhibition centre to a long dictation of your lifes every activity, its like a sanctuary where you go to.

when i was a kid, alot of people used to tell me time and again, that i think too much. i hated the sound of that, somehow, whenever the word "too" comes in, everything seems so, negative. then whenever i had a thought, i would immediately cut it off so i wont brood or dwell on it for too long. i told myself to take everything at surface value... but what did i truly do? i seem to have forgot an important part of life- thinking. everything around us, is made up of words, thoughts. men had chain of thoughts, was curious, then they started to invent telephones,bulbs, ways to harnest energy. these are the building blocks of our soceity. thats what we see,but the true building blocks are whats in our minds, the thoughts, the questioning. its just a matter of whether they materialize or not. for me, as you have witnessed, i question alot, about why things happen and why they are not always the way i want it. my dad tells me,

"small people talk about people, average people talk about things. Great people talk about idea's"

i agree, totally. but the're alot of things that we shud'nt do, but still do, why? to gain acceptance, from a soceity where the "norm" rules and everyone tries their best to "blend in". if u go too far out of the so called "normal curve" you become odd thus possesing the nickname- weirdo, geek etc.

For me,the great person is the one able to throw himself into a highly strung situation, able to maintain his principles yet manages to change the circumstances so they are to his advantage. the person may be great,by just talking about ideas, ideas and more ideas but one man alone is pointless. if you're so stubborn to talk to your fellow airhead shallow friends about things and people, u'll be just a single man that cant make much of a difference. in Greece, do as the Greeks do.

BUT

at the end of the day, it depends on what your goal is. everyones life goal is different- some want to be successful, some want to be rich, some want to go to heaven, some want to find true love and some just want to bum around and live life. it boils down to what you TRULY want. you dream big to be big. you dont leave the "making the difference" for the people who can make the difference because there is no such category, everyones the same, we posses the potential, so stop being afraid. Nelson Mandela in his Inaugral speech in 1994 said -

" ...there is nothing englightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. instead, let your own light shine and with that, we unconsciously give people the permission to do the same."

i fear too, many times. i wonder if what im doing is right, i wonder if i should persue, i wonder if i should retrace my steps and take the other path. everyone does, no one is ever sure of what they do, they try to, but everyone needs reassuarance. what is right? what is wrong? just a set of rules. believe in your choices, as hard as it may be. make full use of your life. Be the shining star like Nelson Mandela said, be brave. Run the race to the end. dont look back. because we've made the choice. look forward, because for each uncertain step we take with courage, we go closer to becoming stronger. to becoming a beacon of faith.

My heart beats and thumps

to the revolving world.

I have lived so many lives,

Ive wanted so many things.

Ive heard so many words

dreamnt so many dreams.

Life seems like an everlasting routine,

predetermined by some writer,

that filled life with montonous moments

and uneventful times.

time ticks away silents in the shadows,

as codwebs gather,

and things come and go,

i want to run backwards,

i want to drink with my hands,

i want it to snow in summer,

i want the sea to be purple.

everything is within our grasp,

men flew to the moon,

the sky is the limit

far above Everests' summit.

Dream as if you'll live forever

live as if you'll die today.

Dont let the precious moments

slip through your fingers

and dont be a fool to time.

for once its gone,

it will never be back again, ever.

Blatantly transparent.

I was having writers block momentarily. too many things were buzzing through my head,then i had an epiphany. an awesome friend told me this "narrow down to wat u feel lately.."

and it hit me so clearly. hence this post is dedicated totally to you. Cheers D-DO! =)

we are capable of so much more, we look in the mirror and wonder, "what are we capable of? what can we do?" then,i read a story the other day it went like this

"one day, a drunk man named Joe took a shortcut home through the graveyard and fell down a very deep dug up hole. he tried hours to get out but could not succeed so just sat in a corner and gave up. after that, his friend Bill also went home using the same shortcut and fell into the same hole. Joe from the darkness of the shadow said "Bill, theres no getting out of here tonight." and within seconds, Bill had jumped out of the hole and was half way back home!"

do you realize how large a reservoir we have within us? i was listening to this song that encouraged me its by John Mayer entitled 'No Such Thing.' 2 lines that struck me:-

"They love to tell you,Stay inside the lines." &

"I just found out there's no such thing as the real world,just a lie you've got to rise above."

the norm of society tends to keep telling us that, stay inside the lines, stay within your comfort zone. and at times its such a bliss you forget what its like to step outside. People go on telling you the world is impossible, the worlds tough, the worlds everything bad. this sows this pessimistic seed with us and restricts our capabilites.

Instead, read the next line, "theres no such thing as a real world." meaning theres no such thing as impossible or too hard, these are excuses cowards give themselves when they cant achieve it or give up. its a lie, and we're meant, not to live in it, but live above it. Live above the wave of the lies of the norm. Ride the high waves of transperency, where u see everything as it is, no doubts and soon you'll realize the true maximum capability within, so let that latent energy thats dying to fly, to be free and stop beliving the lies of this world, because it just holds you down.

Start surfing on the high waves of life.

As the world revolves,

We cling to our resovles,

That seem so inexistant

but how we wished it were blatant.

Looking through bulbs,

that flicker so faint,

as i sit in these clubs,

with so much restraint.

the need to scream,

the need to blast,

oh! this esteem,

its far too much!

Take the boards,

Catch the waves

Ride it the higest

and you'll take the prize.

Music and Lyrics

i watched a very enlightening movie the other day. It was called music and lyrics starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. In the movie, Drew was Sophie and she said an interesting line to Alex (Hugh) which went something like- "melody's like the first impression, but lyrics is like getting to know someone, their personality and character, the true meaning."


Alot of people listen to music just through the first minute and change the song once the melody sounds borring or unattractive.. Just like in real life, we judge an individual based on their first impression and appearance, whats on the surface without even getting to know their true nature, their lyrics.
Ive done that too with music but then i go back to the song and listen to it again and many a times it became my favourite song and i wonder to myself "wow,how could i have missed such a great song?" likewise, imagine how many great people we may have missed just because we assumed and judged... take some time, to know the real person behind the melody. because the melody may sound average but the meaning and words behind the song may be priceless.


Gentle streams that flow,
As I lean against your door.
The quiet music I hear
Filled with endless sadness and fear.

I’m just another writer,
Trapped within my truth
I strive to be a fighter
But I’m running out of youth.

The musics starting to fade,
But my words remain
So don’t judge what I’ve said
Cause its starting to stain.

I dedicate this song to you
as the words melt my heart
Hoping you feel this too
Before we ever depart.

Fear

its been awhile. i guess i tried to drown out the sound of unnecessary thoughts. lets talk about things that strike me. Fear.

when i think fear, i think of phobia's. then when i google phobia's i get an endless list of phobia's from phobia of heights to fear of something as strage as long words. then i ask myself. what causes these fears? what are we afraid of? people? objects? emotions? uncertainty? hm. lets elaborate about uncertainty. i believe this is one of the biggest fears we all have.we stress, we fret and are compelled into anxiety over uncertainties. questions like 'what happens if..?' i guess for me im more of the 'carpe diem' person. sieze the day! because our lives are so brief. Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

I know its easier said then done. but you know, we should put a leash on our fear before it gets out of hand, before it takes over our lives and destroys the 'could have beens' and 'if only's'.

but in the end, at the end of the day. its so hard to change. dont be afraid. i dont know what to say anymore. its more complex than that... if you're different, are you special? or abnormal? what is abnormal? its subjective, just like everything else in this world. nothing has a true and accurate definition...

i sit and stare

at this room so bare.

with lights so dim,

i could barely catch a glimpse.

a candle that flickers

through the wind that tickles.

im sinking through this ocean.

like some paralytic potion.

if only. if only. if only's...

perhaps theres still a glimpse of hope.

Some Hearts

i havent posted this year yet. so lets make this a new year post! i just watched Bride Wars. i think it was pretty hilarious and cheesy but nonetheless, applicable to life. very.
btw, my title reminded me of Carrie Underwoods song, 'some hearts' listen to it if you have time.

lets make this post more personal.

im a person that thinks alot. im sure most of you would have deduced that by now. i have conversations going on in my head constantly. its like a courtroom actually. (i dont belong in the asylum. not yet.lol) aparts from that, im also very stubborn when it comes to certain things. i want to prove my point right. i keep holding onto things until they hurt me and still refuse to let go. i dont believe in fate because i know that i can change things. since my minds on a running spree, and its a new year, i shall just start my flow of thoughts.

how many times have u hit a dead end,in anything. and u just want to curl up into a ball. everything u see and hear, u relate it to yourself. you wonder how long it would take before that pain or numb feeling disappears. u try every method. past methods that used to work, but it fails. u plant hope in yourself like a tree, but it feels like the soils been dried up. the tree withers again and again. yet you continue to tell yourself that there must be an antidote.
how far would you go for people that you so call 'love'? would you go as far that it will hurt? is that a sacrifice or you just being plain stubborn? i have too many questions in my head, yet my hipocrisy shouts in my head "understand only to the extent of what is capable of being understood." io want to, but i cant. the laws of mankind, how restrictive. ah, im speechless, believe it or not. just speechless.

If i could,
I would.
If there were possibilities,
I would take the chance.
If there was a race,
I'll run it to the end.
If dreams came true,
I would slumber forever.
If there was just a hint,
I would search its entire existance.

If i could
I'll reach into my heart,
tear off bits and pieces
to patch up any scars or cuts
on ur heart
so that it shall be whole,
The pain ceased,
The turmoil quenched,
Complete once again.








emo much? life has its emotional moments. we're creatures made from abundant emotions.

An Expression of Hope

You know, i have been editing this post non stop to figure out the right terms of expression that i wish to pass across. and i think im finally able to say what i want to. it links over to a previous post.We often yearn reassuarance and credit. thats what i have noticed, we thrive on it. thats our item to enable our daily survival. whether it be reassuring ourselves or compliments by others. it gives us hope, it gives ur courage to live on just to reach that next new day. we often underestimate the power of our expression, we think to ourselves "what can my words do?" in fact what can your words not do?

At first, i used to think self expression was the most important. grasping the power to use it. Then along the way, i felt that it would be so much better if we never spoke. i felt that at times people are emotionless walls with concrete minds and stoned hearts. if the world could revolve just by you knowing what i think. psychics in other words. therefore, there would be no need for speech or expression of any form. But, as time passed i soon realized that hearts were given for a reason, our speech plays such an important role in our lives. it sows the seeds of reassurance that sprouts self confidence for a brand new day. and as 'concrete' some of us may feel others may be at times, i believe when you say something that comes from the heart, it breaks through that tough outer layer,to the heart and soul within. touching what lies within that lays fragile and cold... the words can be like warmth, a priceless gift on a cold winters day...


I followed the wall
Solid and concrete it stood tall.
I remembered a time where i walked,
Strolled with my own two feet.
but now i have sunk,
Sunk into lonesome shadows.
Crawling within darkness,
one hand holding my stick,
the other my prayer for hope.
i staggered, barely,
on a neverending journey,
unaware of my destination.
uncertainty. that was it.

One day like no other,
a man uttered a sentence altogether.
"He who does not hope to win
has already lost."
With that the walls shattered,
through the tiny cracks,
the light shone in.
warmth was all i felt,
the thing that i most needed.
A simple sentence that gave me courage,
that gesture that gave me hope,
the expression that made me feel loved
and the feeling of passing on this gift
to whoever that walks by.